I have never spent so much time on a title for a post before.
In the beginning, it was “What I learned from my son’s illness” but I hated that title, it sounded like a cheesy LinkedIn post. I then thought about incorporating FI in the title because it’s been such a huge part but this isn’t really a financial post. Then, I changed to 10+ other titles but ended up with this one, so here is our story.

As I was away for a while (in this post, you’ll understand why), I’ve had to catch up on our monthly results posts. Now that our April 2024 results are posted, I need a separate post to share with you what happened to my son back in May 2024.

Before I dive into the story, I have to jump to the end: He’s OK, he’s on daily medication but he’s really OK, he’s doing great. His life is completely normal except for the medication.

OK, now that no one’s stressed or scared, let’s first go over the factual side of what happened. Later, I’ll go over the financial aspect and do the LinkedIn-style of what I learned (I really did) about life and my priorities.

The factual story

Part 1 – First blisters

It all started when (but not “because”) my son “graduated” from the baby room and moved to the nursery (bigger kids’ room, in the same building). On his first week in nursery, my son (2 years old) came home with a severe nappy rash. This isn’t the first time this happened so we already had the creams on hand and we knew how to deal with it. However, this time, blisters started to appear. I contacted his private dermatologist (insurance pays for most of that), which only had availability a week later. I booked an appointment and kept treating him with the creams we had at home.

Part 2 – Initial treatment and escalation

A couple of days later, we noticed blisters on his feet and one next to his eye. I called the same company we use for the dermatologist and they told me they have a private A&E that can see him immediately. We went there straight away.

They tested him and booked him to see another dermatologist the next day. The next day, the dermatologist saw him, gave me some creams and told me it would take a few days to get better.

Of course, we kept our son at home and followed the dermatologist’s instructions. However, his blisters got much worse very fast. At first, I didn’t worry because the dermatologist said it would take a few days but after a couple of days, I sent her a photo of my son and asked if that’s how this is supposed to look. Her answer was (and I paraphrase): “Hell no, go to A&E ASAP”. She was very helpful and asked which hospital was closest to us and after I told her, she recommended another one (that was further away) because she believed he would get better treatment there. In addition, she also told me to pack an overnight bag as he should be hospitalised. She also told me to wait for her to confirm someone would wait for us there, which took around an hour and felt like an eternity.

Quick pause for the financial aspect 1: Although my son was treated by the NHS, we were very lucky to go through the private dermatologist, as I would have had no idea which hospital was best for his condition.

Part 3- The ride to the hospital

I remember the journey there like it was yesterday. We left home at 18:00, knowing we needed to get there (roughly an hour in an Uber), go through A&E, and hopefully finish this process by 20:00 because a specific dermatologist was waiting there for us.

I explained the situation to our driver and, bless him, he took it as his mission to get us there on time. When we got close, we hit a traffic jam. I asked the driver how much longer his SatNav says we’ll be, he answered “10 minutes”. I told him walking would take the same and that I intended to run. He helped me get the pram out of the trunk and I ran the remainder of the way with my son. We made it! It felt like Mission Impossible.

Part 4- Hospitalisation

Anyway, we got to A&E, I explained the urgency and he was able to see the dermatologist on time and get hospitalised. As they weren’t sure what he had, they thought he might be contagious and put him (and me) in a private room. We were very lucky to be in a private room as we ended up staying there for 3 weeks!

Quick pause for the financial aspect 2: imagine if we were living paycheck to paycheck. I’m not sure I would’ve been able to stay there with him for 20 days.
OK, back to the story.

They started treatment assuming the most likely disease while running tests. It was 3-4 days after he was hospitalised (if I’m not mistaken) until they finally figured out what my son had (and still has). It would have taken an extra day if it wasn’t for Lazy FI Mum insisting (over the phone) not to delay his biopsy.

My son has an autoimmune disease that makes his body produce blisters (fun times!). Luckily, it is not very dangerous and should disappear in the next few months/years.

Now that they knew what he had, they had to treat him and get his blisters under control before they could release him.

Part 5- quitting my job

As soon as we got the diagnosis, I called my boss and handed in my notice.

At that time, we didn’t know how long he’d be in the hospital or how long he’d have to stay at home after that either. My boss was very understanding and told me I could take most of the time as unpaid leave if I wanted. That was a huge help because (thanks to our FI journey) I didn’t need the money, I needed the time to be there for my son.

Me quitting my job allowed me to give 100% of my attention to my son and helped me avoid any misunderstandings at work about where my priorities were at the time.

Part 6- Going Back Home and semi-working through my notice

As you already know, we ended up staying there for 3 weeks.
After that, he was allowed to go home. He ended up staying home for a few more weeks.

I ended up taking roughly half of the time as unpaid and the rest- I helped my colleagues via email where I could at night after my son was asleep (after we got home of course) and a bit during the day.

There were some days when I had to work more than I wanted (story of my life), so we also got a babysitter to spend time with him a few hours a day. That allowed me to rest and I also saw how she did activities with him that wouldn’t have thought about. I think that was a great decision on our side.

I don’t need to spell out the financial side of how blessed we were to afford a babysitter while I was barely working, right? Great, didn’t think so.

After a month or so (Lazy FI Mum will correct me here if I’m wrong), he went back to nursery and back to his normal life. Besides having to take daily medication (dosages are decreasing gradually), he’s living a normal 2-year-old life. He is doing amazing.

A sense of purpose

It’s funny, but it felt great being in the hospital with him.

First, it’s important to mention that his life wasn’t at risk at any point.
Second, he was in a great mood throughout our stay there and he was really brave and cooperative during all the tests.

The reason it felt great being there is that I felt I was in the right place. There was nowhere else in the world where I wanted to be or where I was needed more than in that hospital with that little dude. That was a very special feeling.

I also knew that Lazy FI Mum had things covered at home with our daughter, so I could focus all my attention on him.

Also, it was really a full-time job. I was ensuring he got all his medication with mistakes (I caught a few), taking him on walks, and making sure he had everything he needed. If (god forbid) he had to stay in the hospital for a few more months- I could have easily kept going. We had our own routine there, me and him, and it was a very special experience.

How being on the journey to FI helped us

Being on the journey to FI, living below our means, and having F U money helped us immensely. I’ll try to summarise this part:

First, as we were able to afford the private dermatologist, we were directed to the best hospital for my son.

Second, having F U money allowed me to focus 100% on my son and not worry about my work.
I let them know I was available, of course, I didn’t just disappear but I never had thoughts like “What if I lose my job? Can I afford not to work now?” and that is a result of years of work Lazy FI Mum and I had put it to get this position.

Third, after he was released home, he was still not exactly healthy. We were able to keep him home while paying for a babysitter, his nursery fees, and me not working. I know how ridiculous this sounds and I’m very grateful to our younger selves for allowing us to do so.

Fourth, even after our son went back to nursery, I did not compromise on which new job I took (more on that below).

If I had to sum this part up, it’s that you don’t have to be fully FI to benefit from healthy financial behaviour. Those of you who read the monthly results posts know we’re not even at 50% of our FI number but it’s not binary. It’s not going from a poor life to an amazing life at a flick of a switch.
Every step you take towards FI buys you more freedom today.

What did I learn?

OK, LinkedIn-style time. I am serious though, I learned A LOT from this experience.

The time in the hospital made me realise quite a few things:

First, it emphasized how much the little ones need us. The staff in the hospital did their absolute best and were wonderful but they’re human and they made mistakes along the way. I was there to catch those mistakes because my son couldn’t do it for himself. He also needed someone to comfort him at night or when his leg was itchy. He also needed someone to do the right thing for him like bathe him carefully, even if he was crying throughout.

Second, he is an AMAZING little boy! The way he cooperated with the doctors throughout the tests (even blood tests!) was incredible, I am so proud of him, he is truly amazing.

Third, money (and luck) matters! The fact that I could stay there for the full 3 weeks and even quit my job to be there for him is not something everyone could do, it’s a result of years of living below our means. Another place where money mattered was his treatment. It’s sad to say but it’s the truth. If it wasn’t for our private health insurance, maybe he wouldn’t have been hospitalised so quickly. Also, if it wasn’t for the private dermatologist telling us which hospital was best to go to, maybe his treatment wouldn’t be as good.

It really felt like everything Lazy FI Mum and I have been doing (financially) for the past few years was leading to that moment and boy, was it worth it!

Fourth, me and Lazy FI Mum are an amazing team! She was 100% the right person to stay home and look after our daughter (and argue with the doctors when needed). I was the right person to be at the hospital and make sure he was being taken care of. Lazy FI Mum and I are very different people and we try to play to each other’s strengths, in this case, we did that to perfection.

Fifth, I am even less career-focused than before and that’s saying something. I searched for a new job for months as I wasn’t willing to compromise on the number of days in the office. Doing a full day in the office is horrible for me. I leave early and am back after they are already or almost asleep. A day in the office is a day I barely see my kids. In one of the future posts, I’ll tell you about my new job (very little time in the office).

Anyway, my son is doing great and his dosages are going down gradually. I can’t wait to share with you once he doesn’t have to take any more medication. Until then, have a great weekend and I wish you all lots of health.